About Befriender Ministry

BeFrienders provide an opportunity for those they befriendto listen with compassion without giving advice, accept people as they arewithout telling them how they should be, allows others to make their owndecisions without trying to decide for them and provide an opportunity forthose they befriend to make choices and grow.  Do you feel God is calling you into this Ministry? Training will beoffered this fall at Atonement that enable you with core concepts and skills toprovide compassionate care, and not to be experts in whateversituation you may encounter.   

What do BeFrienders do?
BeFrienders (volunteer lay ministers) provide pastoral care to people indifficult and transitional situations, such as illness, loneliness, or loss ofa loved one. They embody the caring presence of God and of the community andserve as a living reminder of God’s love.

BeFrienders are trained to provide a listening presence to others, not to beexperts in whatever situation they might encounter. The core concepts and skillslearned enable a BeFrienders to enter into any situation and providecompassionate, empathic care. BeFrienders can be called upon in crisissituations just as they would be in non-crisis situations. Whatever thecircumstances of the person being befriended, a BeFrienders can be a companion.

BeFrienders accept people as they are without telling them how they should be,listen with compassion without giving advice, and allow others to make theirown decisions without trying to decide for them. By providing spiritual andemotional care, BeFrienders provide an opportunity for those they befriend tomake choices and to grow.

BeFrienders program leaders train and support BeFrienders in offering care, anonjudgmental presence, and active listening. BeFrienders also participate in regular small group meetings with thesupervision of the BeFrienders leadership team. The meetings provideaccountability and growth, and assist BeFrienders in their ability to listen,to be nonjudgmental, and to put aside their own prejudices or desire to give advice. If BeFrienders relationships are discussed, fictitious names are usedand identifying details are eliminated in order to honor confidentiality.


What topics are covered in training?
The training addresses issues such as grief and loss, spirituality,listening, and confidentiality. Many of the skills learned areapplicable to any relationship in a person’s life in addition toBeFrienders relationships.

Being a friend seems natural, so why is training necessary?
Being a friend does come naturally to many people. However, skills suchas active listening and offering respectful, nonjudgmental responses canbenefit from training. BeFrienders Ministry training enhances gifts andqualities the person already has. And God always has more in store forus to learn!

Is there ongoing support for BeFrienders?
Yes. BeFrienders meet regularly in supervised small groups forreflection on their ministry and continuing education.
As a volunteer, I want to grow personally and spiritually. DoesBeFrienders Ministry provide opportunities for growth?
Yes. BeFrienders learn to appreciate both the commonality andindividuality among people. Respect for others is deepened, as isawareness that we are called to be fully present to each other, not onlyin this ministry but in all parts of our lives.

BeFrienders often gain a deeper understanding of unity in Christ bylearning to more deeply value the experience and perspective of eachperson they encounter. Befriending demonstrates how Christ calls us tobe together in our joy as well as our pain.

Benefits of BeFriender Ministry
  • Skills can be applied to any pastoral care situation.            
  • Skills are transferable to any personal or professional relationship within or outside the faith community.          
  • Stories of those befriended enrich a BeFriender’s life.           
  • Continued spiritual growth is possible through regular meetings.            
  • There is an opportunity to live out one’s baptismal call to ministry.  
Qualities of a BeFriender
Some reflections on qualities of a person who is a BeFriender. 
  • A person who can listen to others even when what they say doesn’t seem tomake sense.
  • A person who can allow others to express their own feelings without tellingthem how they should or shouldn’t feel.
  • A person who is willing to sit quietly with others when they can’t put their hurtsinto words.
  • A person in whom others can freely confide, knowing that confidentiality is apriority.
  • A person who can accept others as they are, rather than the way that personthinks others ought to be.
  • A person who will give others time and opportunity to make their own decisionswithout feeling a need to decide for them.
  • A person who can ask how others are doing without feeling an obligation to tellthem what they should be doing.
  • A person who is able to admit that they, too, experience life as burdensome attimes and find it necessary to seek comfort and support from others.
  • A person who understands and values the faith community as necessary forspiritual growth.
  • A person who has an ability to draw on his or her own spiritual resources.
  • A person who can show concern and care in these ways is a true BeFriender.
For more information, contact Barb Hanson at 237-9651 or email bhanson@atonementfargo.org